Dvar Torah - Parshat Toldot

Dvar Torah Parshat Toldot

There are two different kinds of runners. Those who can run for miles, and those who excel in sprinting. Many people who chose to sprint, do so because they do not have the stamina to keep themselves running for longer than a 100 yard dash. Stamina is something which could be built up. Someone who has only been able to sprint can train himself to be able to run an entire marathon.  As an athlete it is important to constantly be working on yourself and building up what you are able to do.

The premise of this week's Parsha, which we all know very well, is that Yaakov and Esav are born to Rivkah Imeinu."וַיִּתְרֹֽצֲצ֤וּ הַבָּנִים֙ בְּקִרְבָּ֔הּ"    Before these twins are even born, there is an internal struggle that is felt by Rivkah. While trying to understand this conflict, she turns to Hashem to get words of comfort. Hashem explains that there are two different nations that are inside of her, and that one will become stronger than the other.

The twins are born as very different people, each with his own strengths and weaknesses. Both Yaakov and Esav were born with assets and shortcomings. Esav was born as a very strong person, and he spends his life using that strength in many things he does. Yaakov was a very sweet and calm person, who was not born with the same strength that Esav is born with.

Over the course of their lives, Yaakov recognizes that he has some shortcomings, and builds on those areas. By the end of the Parsha, Yaakov has learned how to fight for himself and be brave. Esav was born with many good and bad qualities but he never attempts to change the weaknesses in his life.

Each of us are born with our own strengths and weaknesses. It is a great thing to embellish on our strengths, as they were given to us for a reason. But it is also important for us to look at ourselves and realize that we have some weaknesses as well. Each of these weaknesses is something we could work on and make better.

Yaakov and Esav were twins - they had equal potential. One went on the be a father of the Jewish people, someone who our nation, Bnei Yisrael, is name for. The other went on to be something completely different. Each with their strengths and weaknesses, but it was how they managed their weaknesses which made them who they ended up becoming. 

Being Nice and having Patience

Dear PA (Parsha Advisor),

 

I am trying to be nice the new kid in the class, but he is really trying my patience. He always asks me to hang out with him at lunch, recess, bus, school and shabbat!! It’s too much.  I am starting to lose my cool and get angry about it. What should I do? 

HELP !!! :(

Sincerely,

Kid trying to be easygoing

Dear Kid trying to be easygoing,

Let’s look at this week’s Parsha and see if we can find any answers or direction from the actions of Rivkah. In the story - Eliezer, the head of Avraham's household, is in search of a wife for Yitzchak. He makes a deal with Hashem at the well saying, “The girl that gives me water and also offers water to my camels - she is the one for Yitzchak.”

Rav Soloveitchik asks, "Why did Eliezer need to ask a young girl to draw water for the camels, couldn't one of his servants have taken a pitcher down the well and brought up water for the camels?"

The Rav answers that Eliezer was testing Rivkah's patience. She displayed great manners and did not get angry when a newcomer/guest asked from her something that would normally be too much. This trait was very unique, and showed Eliezer that she was fit to be the mother of the nation of Yisrael.

Patience is a trait that is in our genes. We are supposed to be slow to anger and have patience. Good things come to those who practice these characteristics. I think that your best bet is to be patient and go the extra mile for your new friend. It will pay off in the end.

Shabbat Shalom,

PA

Impact the World with your Actions

 iPad, iHome, selfies etc. We live in a world and a generation where our whole world revolves

around what we want and what we’re doing.

In this week’s parsha, Parshat Vayeira, we are reminded time and time again about Avraham’s selflessness.Avraham is tested over and over, but each time he puts aside the human instinct to think about himself. In those moments he chooses to think about the greater good and the impact that his actions can have on the world.

At the end of last week’s parsha, Avraham, at the age of 99, is commanded to give all the members of his household a  Brit Milah. He does this to everyone and to himself. In that moment, Hashem gave him every opportunity to take care of himself. Avraham was sick and Hashem made it hot outside, so that Avraham would be inclined to remain in his tent and relax. Avraham does the exact opposite. He sits outside in the scolding hot weather and waits for people to pass by. He longed to do Hachnasat Orchim, the mitzvah that he so famous for doing. Hashem, seeing how eager Avraham is to do this mitzvah, sends three angels to come visit Avraham. Each angel comes with his own message. The first one comes to heal Avraham. The second comes to bring the great news that in a year’s  time, Sarah will give birth to a son. And the last was a messenger to tell Avraham that Sodom was going to be destroyed.Each comes with an important message, but which one does Avraham spend the most energy thinking about? He is thinking about the one who said that Sodom was going to be destroyed. He was just told that he was going to have a son, after waiting all this time, and he is concerned for the possible Tzaddikim in Sodom. He even begins bargaining with Hashem, trying to make deals to save the people that live there. Again, Avraham puts his own happiness aside to think about the plight of others. Lastly, Hashem asks Avraham to bring his precious son as a Korban. We all know how the story goes, he does this without hesitating. He gets up early and quickly goes to fulfil the word of Hashem. Again, the natural instinct to think about himself in this moment is not even a thought for him.

Avraham designated his life to serving Hashem and helping the people around him. If we could take one message from this week’s Parsha, it should be to think about our lives and see if we can find appropriate opportunities to do this. Is  there anyone that we could help even if we have something of our own to do? Can we put our own agendas on the side for a couple of minutes and do something which could have an impact on others?

Parshat Lech Lecha - All our actions count

In this weeks Parsha we read about an escapee that reports to Avram that his nephew Lot was taken captive. After hearing this, Avram quickly gathers his forces to liberate Lot and save Sodom. He ends up successful on both accounts. 

Who was this reporter? What ever happened to him? And is there a message that we can learn from his story?

According the Midrash, this person was Og, the King of Bahsan. He lived for many years after surviving the flood. This was the same King Og that Moshe was afraid of when the Jewish People were preparing to conquer Canaan. The Gemera explains that Moshe was afraid that the merit of saving Lot's life would protect Og when the Jewish People came to attack. 

Interestingly, the Midrash elaborates on the reason why Og reported to Avram about Lot. His plan was for Avram to hear his report, and then to go to war and die in the battle. This would leave Sarah without a husband and Og would marry her. We see that even though Og did it for a different reason there still was a reward. 

We can not understand how rewards are given out by Hashem. Things that we might see as small and minor might be really remarkable and great. Things that we might think deserve no reward or recognition might really deserve a great reward and high praise.  There is no way to know how Hashem works with reward and punishment. We can only choose to do the right thing  - big or small.  

Parshat Noach - Self Confidence

Self confidence is a very popular phrase in the mental health world. Oxford Dictionary defines self confidence as "a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgment." If you were to google the phrase 'building self confidence' you would get over 27 million results. People claim that this is the most important skill to imbue within our children. I believe that this claim is correct. 

Here are some quotes about self confidence that show it's importance. "Confidence comes naturally with success, but success only comes to those that are confident," "What matters most is how you see yourself," "Don't let anyone dull your sparkle."

There are many personalities in Tanakh that exhibited self confidence. Noach, Yosef, Moshe, Shaul, Jonah are just a few who at times showed tremendous self confidence, but at other times showed low or little self confidence. When researching on this, I started with Noach and found an amazing point in the Kedushat Halevi by Reb Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev (1740–1810).

Noach understood that there is power to Tefillah. If he truly understood this, why did he not pray to save the people of his generation from the flood? Or why didn't he pray for the decree to be nullified?

The Kedushat HaLevi explains that there are two types of tzaddikim in the world. One that serves Hashem with a lot of passion, but he uses his connection to Gd for himself. This type of tzaddik does not bring people closer to God. The other type of tzaddik is one that serves God and also brings back evil sinners to serve god. Avarham was an example of this type of tzaddik.

Noach was on a very high level as a Tzadik, but he did not have confidence in himself. He looked at himself says the Keshhat Halevi, as small or low in his own eyes. He thought that he was similar to the other people of his generation. He did not think he could pray for the generation and save them, so he did not. And that is what Rashi means according to the Kedushat Halevi in the phrase "אף נח מקטני אמנה היה", Noach did not believe in himself.

The lesson from here is that there are two ways to serve Hashem. The first is to believe in Him wholeheartedly, and believe that He makes the best decisions for our lives. The second, which is equally, or possibly more, important, is that we need to be confident in our own abilities and talents. These talents were given to each one of us by Hashem, so instead of only relying on Hashem to make decisions that can help us, we need to be confident in our own abilities to succeed in life. This confidence can help us accomplish great things, and can carry us through great times and harder times. The same way that we need to believe in Hashem we need to believe in ourselves too. We need to have self confidence.

Parshat Nitzavim - Pre Rosh Hashana

In, Parshat Nitzavim, Moshe delivers one of his last last messages to Bnai Yisrael his death and Bnai Yisrael enters Eretz Yisrael.

Moshe tells them:

כִּי הַמִּצְוָה הַזֹּאת, אֲשֶׁר אָנֹכִי מְצַוְּךָ הַיּוֹם--

לֹא-נִפְלֵאת הִוא מִמְּךָ, וְלֹא רְחֹקָה הִוא

For this commandment which I command you this day, is not concealed from you, nor is it far away. (Deuteronomy 30:11-14)

What is “this Mitzvah” that Moshe is speaking about that is not far away from us but is very close?  The Ramban explains that this verse is connected to the previous speech of Moshe. A few pasukim earlier, we find Moshe teaching about the Mitzvah of Teshuva  

כִּי תָשׁוּב אֶל-יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ, בְּכָל-לְבָבְךָ וּבְכָל-נַפְשֶׁךָ.

“and you will return to the Lord, your G-d, with all your heart and with all your soul".                     (Deuteronomy 30:10). The mitzva Moshe is referring to is the commandment of teshuva, or repentance. This is the commandment that is not far from us, it is actually very close to us. Rabbinu Yonah in his classic work Sha'arei Teshuvah asks the question, “ How could it be that doing Tehsuva is so close to us and easy?

He explains that when people decide to do stop doing something bad  and does the right thing, at that moment we exit darkness and enter great light. It is that close and that simple. When we decide to do the right thing and turn to it, we are on the right path immediately. So Teshuva is really close.

For example, If we were  having indoor recess and someone asks to play a game with us. We turn them away and refuse. The other person feels bad. If we recognize it and just turn our body slightly and say I will play, we have made  that turn toward doing the right thing. That is what Rabbnu Yona is saying will immediately put you in a good light. It might take us a long time to do the right thing more often but we are going in the right direction.  I hope that we are all able to turn the wheel slightly and reach out to that Mitvah of Teshuva that is literally right around the corner.

(This Dvar Torah was based on a article in the Jerusalem Post)

We will do it!!

A few weeks ago we read the Parsha of Yitro. I shared with my students the following story. This winter reminded me of what happened to tome during a winter like this one. I lived on a very quiet street. We played stick ball in the street and rode our bikes in the street. On my block there lived the Berger Family. The couple was older and their children had married and moved away. Mr Berger would always sit outside and watch, as all the kids were playing and riding past him. He would say Hello to us each time he saw us. He had a little dog that I think looked like him. Anyway, one very snowy day Mr. Berger called our house and I answered the phone. He asked, " Can you and your siblings do me a favor?" I answered, "Sure no problem. when should we come over?" He said, "Now".  I turned to my older brother and sister and said, "Mr. Berger needs us lets go."  They were not as excited as I thought they would be. They were annoyed at me. "Why did you say we would come over? Did you even ask him what the favor is? Maybe we do not want to clean out his attic or go through old bags of clothing with him."  They wanted to know what I had committed them to do for Mr. Berger.  That is very sound advice. You should always know what you are agreeing to do before you say you will do it.
This story it reminds me of what Bnai Yisrael did at Har Sinai. Hashem asked, "Do you want the Torah and all the Mitzvot in it?" Bnai Yisrael answers in unison the famous two words, "We will do it and we will listen". They should have asked what is in the Torah and what are the Mitzvot you are talking about. Why did they just follow without knowing the details?  To answer this questions, Rav Soloveitchik explains that we have two decison making systems. One is a very analytical mindset. We need to know all the details. The pros and cons. The gains and loses.  We review all the data and make an informed decision. That is called the רצון התחתון the lower decision making process. There is also a decision making system that works on the premise I just know it is the right thing to do. I feel it is right. I do not need details. I am going to do it. That the Rav calls the רצון העלין the upper decison making process. At Har Sinai, Bnai Yisrael answered with the רצון העלין higher decison maker process. They just knew this was the righ thing to do.
I explained to the students that in life there are times that we need to know all the details before making a choice to do or not do something. There are also times that you just know it is the right thing to do even if you do not have all the information. You should trust yourself and your feelings. That is what prompted Bnai Yisrael to answer "We will do and we will listen."

PS - Mr. Berger asked us to shovel his driveway and he paid for it too. My siblings were happy.