Being Nice and having Patience

Dear PA (Parsha Advisor),

 

I am trying to be nice the new kid in the class, but he is really trying my patience. He always asks me to hang out with him at lunch, recess, bus, school and shabbat!! It’s too much.  I am starting to lose my cool and get angry about it. What should I do? 

HELP !!! :(

Sincerely,

Kid trying to be easygoing

Dear Kid trying to be easygoing,

Let’s look at this week’s Parsha and see if we can find any answers or direction from the actions of Rivkah. In the story - Eliezer, the head of Avraham's household, is in search of a wife for Yitzchak. He makes a deal with Hashem at the well saying, “The girl that gives me water and also offers water to my camels - she is the one for Yitzchak.”

Rav Soloveitchik asks, "Why did Eliezer need to ask a young girl to draw water for the camels, couldn't one of his servants have taken a pitcher down the well and brought up water for the camels?"

The Rav answers that Eliezer was testing Rivkah's patience. She displayed great manners and did not get angry when a newcomer/guest asked from her something that would normally be too much. This trait was very unique, and showed Eliezer that she was fit to be the mother of the nation of Yisrael.

Patience is a trait that is in our genes. We are supposed to be slow to anger and have patience. Good things come to those who practice these characteristics. I think that your best bet is to be patient and go the extra mile for your new friend. It will pay off in the end.

Shabbat Shalom,

PA

How do we treat guests - What we can learn from Rivkah

 At the Shabbat Assemby we spoke about what we can learn from Rivkah at the well with Eliezer. What do we do when  we meet people? Or have guests?  Based in a word in the pasuk the Midrash tells us that the water came up to meet Rivkah. When she gave water to Eliezer it was easy, the water was right there. That was nice but what really impressed Eliezer was how Rivkah Drew water for the animals. She goes back to the well and needs to lower the bucket all the way and pull it up many times to give drinks to the camels. Notice here, there is no word in the pasukim for the Midrash to link to a water miracle. Rivkah needed to do this act of kindness all by herself. It is after this that Eliezer realizes this is the person for Yitzchok.   We can learn from Rivkah that we need to make efforts to do kindness for others. It is not easy at times, but our efforts show people that we care about them. It just the way want to be treated. 

Standing by the Well - How we act away from home.

 At this week’s Shabbat Assembly I talked to the students about the test of acting correctly when you are away from home.  In the parsha, Eliezer, Avraham's servant, was searching for a wife for Yitzchak. He was instructed to go to a specific area to find a wife. Why does he go to a well to look for this person? Why not go into the city to the homes of the people whom Avraham told him would be okay to marry?  The Chizkuni explains that Eliezer was looking for a wife at the well on purpose. He wanted to see this person and observe her behavior when she was away from her home.  This would be a true test of what type of young lady she was.  Had she been in her parents' home she would have done as instructed and offered guests food and water. She would have been polite and courteous in front of her parents.  Eliezer was looking to see how this young girl would respond when she was on her own. 

Similarly, we as parents and teachers educate our children to do the right thing and to behave properly. However, the children's true test is not when they are with their parents and teachers. The true test is when the children are at recess or lunch, or on the school bus, or at a play date. At these times, when they are on their own, they must demonstrate that they have incorporated good manners and appropriate behaviors into their lives. I hope the students will take this lesson to heart and assimilate it into their lives when the adults are not around.